Archive for drunks

$20 to go…

Posted in Driving Basics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 10, 2011 by HackingVegas

First call of a VERY slow morning was a no go. Normally I get pissed when that happens but this time it turned out to be the best call I’ve had in a while.

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I pull up to this little dive bar in North Las Vegas where I pick up at least ten times a week. They never go far but a ride is a ride. The bartender pokes his head out and asks me to give him a minute and he’ll get the guy out soon. It was slow that morning so I sat and waited.

Soon the door flew open and a guy comes stumbling out. He holds the railing on the walkway heading to the cab. As the rail ends he makes a leap of faith toward the cab and falls up against it. He opens the door and leans in asking in a the most slurred drunken voice I’ve heard in a while, “how much does it cost NOT to go home?” I said, “I don’t know, if you want to give me $10 for wasting my time that would be cool”. He said, “no problem” and reaches in his wallet and started digging for the money. The bartender was standing behind him the whole time and tells him, “NO, you’re cut off. If you think you’re going to stay here you’re paying him $20 or I’m not letting you back in”. The guy got pissed and had a few choice words for the bartender but promptly handed me a $20 bill.

He then told the bartender to take him back in and stop being a jackass.

Off they went and so did I with the meter shorted but my pocket a little fatter. So if anyone is ever wondering how much it costs to not go home, it’s now $20 if you call my cab.

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Irish Rage

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks, Foreigners with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2011 by HackingVegas

I pull up to a hotel that has the hottest night club in Vegas and get one guy going to another hotel on the opposite end of the strip. I ask how he’s doing and get a response I didn’t expect. In a heavy Irish accent he says,”I’ll be fine once I kick his ass”. I laugh thinking it may be a joke but after he goes in to the story about this guy stealing his woman, and so on and so forth, I know he’s really going kick ass.

About half way there he hands me a one hundred-dollar bill and asks if I could wait for him . I told him of course, but if he’s not back down in 30 minutes I’m leaving and keeping the change. He assured me that it would only take him about 10 minutes and he was ok with that deal.

As I got closer to the hotel we hit some traffic. He really started to get impatient and asked if he could just jump out and meet me in front when he’s done. I told him he has to let himself out and I’ll meet him wherever. He then wrote my cab number down and off he ran. Like a wild animal I watched him weave in and out of the cars until he found a side door to go in for his hotel.

I kept going until I got to the front of his hotel. I started to tweet about this guy and before I knew it, he was back in my cab.

Sweaty as hell he said, “take me back please”, referring to the club. Once again, I had to laugh. I asked how it went.

He said, “he’s going to think twice before doing this shit again. After kicking his ass I took his room key and tossed him out the room. He’s not on the room so he can’t get back in”.

He laughed his ass off the whole way back to the club.

Jumping the Wall

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2011 by HackingVegas

When you drive around Las Vegas you see a lot of drunk people walking around as the night gets later and the morning begins. Later into the morning, we get more drunks that walk off the sidewalks and into cabs. These fares are hit and miss. When one of these fares pours themselves into my cab, the first thing I do is try to get a destination. Then I confirm they have money for the fare.

You can talk to 10 drivers and all 10 will have different opinions on these types of fares. Personally I don’t mind them. I’ve only had one guy puke all over me and my cab. Considering the amount of drunks I pick up I don’t think that’s too bad.

This morning I picked up a guy who stumbled up the driveway of a hotel I was at on the southern end of the strip. He wanted to go to the northern end of the strip. So I checked for money and off we went. I’m driving a minivan today so he took advantage of the extra room. About a minute into the ride his feet come flying up between the front seats and he begs for the air to be turned up. That is never a good sign. Needing more air normally mean you have less than 5 minutes before they blow. I push down on the gas a little bit harder hoping to make it before it’s too late. We come to a stop light and I look in my rearview mirror to see him now looking green and his head is swaying.

Next thing I know, the silence is broken by a blood curdling scream.

Him: AAAHHHHHH!!! Who the fuck are you?! Why in the fuck am I in this cab?!

Me: You’re drunk and needed a ride

Him: Fuck you I do (mumbled something)

Then tossed $10 at me slid the van door open. He started running up the strip through the intersection. I just sat there for a minute watching him until Metro pulled up next to me and asked if I was ok. I told them I was but pointed at the guy who was then jumping a wall to get on the sidewalk (there was an opening to the sidewalk just 4 feet away). I said, “but I don’t know about him”. He just laughed and made sure that the guy didn’t go back into traffic. I pulled through the light which, was now green, and pulled over to shut the door.

Just another day as a Vegas Hack. On to the next fare.

Who’s Amy

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2011 by HackingVegas

 

The other day I got a call to pick up from a local hospital ER. We get these all the time and most are just people feeling like crap after a night of too many drinks and drugs. But this one was a little different.

I pulled up and a man and woman came out and got in. They were headed to a hotel about 5 miles away and little did I know it would be a long awkward drive. After I asked where they were going, it was quiet for about a minute. Then she spoke ~

Her: I had your phone while you were passed out.

Him: oh, ah, ok…. thanks

Her: Who’s Amy?

Him: eeehhhh…… A friend from home.

Her: Why is she asking if I’m asleep?

Him: ……… I don’t know…. Why did you read my messages?

Not only did she read his text messages, but she had been texting Amy nonstop over the previous two hours. Come to find out, Amy had planned a trip to Vegas before he made plans to come with his new girl. So now his new girl is probing into who Amy really was to him while sitting in the back of my cab. By the sound of her voice and the way she asked certain questions, she already knew every answer prior to asking the question. Amy was his ex-fiancé. The reason they broke it off was because he had done this same thing to her.

The 12 min ride consisted of her asking questions, him not really answering them and then her answering the questions for him. The two girls actually ended up exchanging numbers and were planing to have lunch before they left. The guy was dumbfounded.

I pulled up to the hotel and opened their doors. She got out and started into the hotel. As he got out he asked her to wait for him. She turned her head as she kept walking and said the best thing ever.

“Why should I wait? You’re not getting back in the room. It’s in my name and I’ll have the bell desk take your bags. Good bye”

 

Pimps and Mom’s

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks, Hookers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 1, 2011 by HackingVegas

It’s just a fact that no matter how hard the police try to stop prostitution, it’s going to happen. You can walk the strip at night and see pimps of all kinds trying to work their next girl. Once in a blue moon we gt a pimp working the morning groups of girls trying to get beck to their rooms. The other morning I watched an interaction between one of these guys and a lady that I felt was worth sharing.


I’m sitting at a taxi stand central strip that has an alley that runs along side it. There was a guy working every girl up as they pass with no luck. They all made it past him and on hotel property where he gave up. Then a lady who was around 60 years old walked up to him and asked if he knew where a store was. For some reason he took this as an opportunity to try to get this lady to turn a few tricks for him. I couldn’t believe it but she actually sat there and listened. I can only assume she was drunk off her ass and as soon as she started asking questions I couldn’t help but laugh. She started with questions about where she would stay and how she would get her “Johns”. Then when I thought all hope was lost, she flipped it on him. She started asking him about his mom.

Her: I’m about your mom’s age. Does she work for you too? Would you want her sleeping in the same bed with you? Does she know what you’re out here trying to do?

He try’s to interrupt her with no luck and she keeps going. He then tries to walk away but she stops him and corners him. By now a group of us drivers are standing there watching this happen with the hotel security right there with us. They were on their way to remove him but when they saw what was happening thy just sat and enjoyed the show with us. She continued laying into him and then told him to get the hell out of there and said, “if I see you here anymore while I’m in town I’ll do this all over again.


I have to give it to her, She had balls. It’s these moments that make me like my job.

Fighting For His M.I.L.F.

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2011 by HackingVegas

Security came out with a guy and loaded my next fare. While they were bringing him out he’s yelling, “I just want to fuck that M.I.L.F”. So with that said, here is the fare’s side of the story.

He gets in all pissed off until I ask him, “what the hell did they do to you?”. I had him at that point. He started bragging about everything.

His story:

So I’ve been coming to this hotel for years now and they’ve always taken care of me. For some reason this trip they decided that I was out of line. For what? I don’t know, but I think they’re jealous of my skills with the ladies. I think they are pissed that I was taking all the ladies from the other guests. All weekend I had them hanging on me and wanting to get in my pants. I mean, this is nothing new while I’m here. They should know this. But this week I guess I pissed them off with my newest fan.

The hottest cocktail waitress in the hotel wanted me. I guess she was one of the “big guys” girls but she couldn’t help herself. She brought me drink after drink and came to me more than most waitresses do. She wanted me so bad everyone could see it. So I was sitting at the machine when I decided to make my move. She leaned over me to set my drink down and made sure her tits were right there. I mean, come on. She was asking me to do it. So I turned my chair, wrapped my arms around her and put my face firmly between them. She was acting like she didn’t want me there, but I knew it was just a show for her boss. I told her, “it’s ok, I’ll fuck you”.

Next thing I know I was being taken to the ground by security and thrown out. I tried to explain what she was doing and they didn’t want to hear it. They were just jealous that I was going to score. As they ware walking me out they told me that I was no longer welcome at that hotel and that if I came back I would go to jail. I was pissed. All I wanted was that M.I.L.F. and they couldn’t handle it.

So, when he was done with his little story he asked me if I understood. Could I believe that they would do that crap? I could only say, “here’s your airline”. As I unloaded his bag, he paid me and I completed my talk with, “you fuckin ass wipe. It’s her job. You’re an old man and I doubt your wife even wants you”. Yes he was wearing his wedding ring. I then got in the car before he could say anything back and drove off.

Vegas brings the best out in people.

Rub and Tug

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks, Hookers, Random Info with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2011 by HackingVegas

Las Vegas is known for a lot of things but most of all it’s known as “SIN CITY”. This is a very fitting name considering that you can do nearly anything you can dream of and then some.  As a driver in Vegas we are involved in the transportation of the visitors looking for the Sin part of our city and therefore we are also used for information gathering.  It’s common to get a fare who doesn’t know where they are going until they give you the third degree.  This was the case the other day.

It was just after sunrise and I was sitting at one of my favorite morning hotels hoping for a fare to the Airport.  Out of no where I have a man knocking on my window asking to get in. I notice he doesn’t have the luggage I was hoping for but such is luck. I unlock the doors and off we go. As I pull off I ask where he’s going and that’s where it all starts.

Him: I need a rub down. Where is the best place?

Me: Well are you looking for a good rub down or a GOOD RUB DOWN (Hinting about a parlor)

He then starts in with this long-winded story about how he has been up for about 24 hours and playing cards and just needs to relax. That he has an extra $500 and he’s just trusting me to take him somewhere that will help.

Here’s the problem with that, I’m not the type of driver who will just drive you somewhere if I’m not sure that’s where you want to go. Between the complaints I’ve got from other fares about other drivers doing that and the fact if the guy gets pissed I can get in trouble from the T.A. for not getting a proper destination.

So I pull to the side and start playing 20 questions.  I start with,

This is what a "Real Spa" for massages looks like

Me: are you wanting a true Spa where they are legit and give really good message’s or are you looking for a rub and tug?

Him: Well I’m sore and need relief

Me: Ok well then I would wait for the spa to open at your hotel and go there. With the money you have they will take care of you.

Him: But I need it now. I don’t want to wait. Don’t they have those Asian places you can take me?

This is what a "Rub&Tug" place looks like

I go on to explain that those are really just there for the rub and tug. If he’s really sore they wont be able to help him. Most guys I pick up from those places say the girls hurt them and most say they stop the girl and get to the point.

By now I know that all he really wants it a rub and tug and I’m done playing games.  I turn in my seat and say,

Me: OK let’s stop the shit. You are looking for a hooker and didn’t find one at the hotel you were at. So you jump in my cab and don’t have the balls to say so and spend ten minutes beating around the bush. Now it’s coming up to the time I have to go pick up a personal fare and I need you to figure out what you want or get out. If you want a true message get out and make an appointment at the hotel. If you are looking for a hooker I’ll take you to one of the brothels and you can have at. If you are just looking for someone to pay attention to you and have her tug on you then say so. I don’t have this kind of time. We are in Vegas and I’m a Cabbie. You’re a grown man and I’ve heard it all before so be a man and stop wasting my time.

Him: (in a beaten voice) well, um, just….. (I’m about to kick him out) aaahhhh take me to one of those asian places. Just go to the best one.

I tell him they are all the same but I’m taking him to the one on the way to where my next pick up is. If he needed a ride back he could call me when he’s done and I could pick him back up in about 45 mins. My phone never rang and my day went on.

So for any readers that are coming to Vegas and feel embarrassed about wanting to do something, I have this to say.

If you are afraid to ask for it than maybe you shouldn’t be doing it.  If you want something ask for it and don’t waste everyone’s time. This is Vegas and you know… What Happens in Vegas Stays Dorment Until You Get Home And Need “That Cream”.

Popping Bottles in the Club

Posted in Driving Basics, Drunks, Hookers, Law Enforcement, Random Info, Robberies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2011 by HackingVegas

But let me be the first to say he’s no G6.

Ok let me start from the beginning. The other morning I was taking a bouncer to work at one of our reputable gentlemen’s club sleezy strip clubs. As we were driving down stripper row we see a guy come flying across the street from an alley that leads out of one of the clubs. The bouncer starts to laugh and says that I better stop the cab or I’m going to get hit by a couple of cars. Having a good idea of what he’s talking about, I slow to a stop in time to see two cars come flying out of the same alley without regard to who or what’s around them. They turn the same way the guy ran but he’d already ducked into another alley and behind a building.

I kept driving while the bouncer filled me in on what I just saw. He said the guy on foot just either stiffed a dancer or stole something. The guys in the cars were going to go beat the shit out of him to get the stuff back or make him pay one way or another. I believed every word (because it’s not the first time I’ve heard if this happening) and asked how often this happens. He said at least once in a weekend but sometimes more.

I pulled up to his club and dropped him off. I then headed straight back to the area where I had seen the guy on foot last. As I’m pulling down the street I see the two cars going back down the alley where they had come from and assumed that they never found the guy. I made a quick right where I saw the guy run and drive around looking for him. Right before I give up, I see him. He’s peeing on a pile of pallets in one of the allies. I must have scared him because he started running while trying to put his junk away.  I pulled down the ally and tapped the horn. He finally looked back and saw that I was a cab driver.  I motioned for him to get in and he did. At first he seemed unsure as to why I picked him up and was ready to jump out in a second. He was riding with his hand on the door handle and body leaning toward the door  for the first few minutes as I drove off. I broke the ice by asking:

Me: Long night?

Him: Oh god yes, too long and not what I wanted.

Me: So whats your story? I mean, I picked you up in an alley around strip club lane.

I was baiting him to see what he would come up with. We hear all kinds of stories as to why guys are wandering around this area at night when everything else is closed.  He sat for a second and then started telling me everything. It started as a night out with some buddies from high school. They were club hopping and ended up at Treasures around midnight (it’s now 6am).

One by one his buddies all left and he had no clue what time it was until one of the girls told him it was the end of her shift. She had to go. He asked the time and freaked out. His flight was in 3 hours and he had to get back to his room to pack.  On the way out he checked his wallet and noticed that he had no money left.  He then noticed all his credit cards were gone. At that point he freaked. After going to the doorman and being told there is nothing they can do for him, that it’s his responsibility to keep track of his stuff, he got mad. He came up with a plan. He was going to sit at the main stage as a girl was up there and just before she was done he would grab all the bills and run out.  He had no clue where he was but knew that he could find a cab somewhere.  The dance was almost over and the few guys left in the club got up to leave.

He jumped on stage and grabbed as much money as he could and ran out. On the way out he did it with style. He knocked over every chair and table he could and pushed two guys over at the door who were on their way out.

I was laughing my ass off at this point so bad I could hardly see the road.  He continued down the driveway and through the alley which is where I saw him first.  I stopped him there and said, I saw you there. I was driving by when you crossed the street. You got off that street just in time. The bouncers turned on the street just after you got off it. He started laughing at that point and then asked if he could use my phone to call someone.

We pulled up to the MGM, he paid up and got out. As I pulled off the property my phone rang. It was the number the guy had called. Come to find out, the guy dropped his phone on the way out of the club and the bouncers had found it. They called the last number, who was me, and started asking questions. When they called they acted like they knew me. When I told the guy I was a cabbie, he asked where Nate was. I told him I just dropped him off at the MGM. He then asked if I had gotten paid. I found this odd. Why is this guy’s buddy asking if I got paid? I let the guy on the phone know that Nate was on his way up to pack and should make the flight without an issue. That’s when the guy on the other end of the phone revealed who he was.

Guy on Phone: Thanks for all the info. We are on our way there but we’ll have to use the cops to do our job.

Me: What? Who is this?

Guy on Phone: I work at the strip club that he just ripped off. This guys isn’t going home if we get our way. We have film and his phone, he’s a dead man.

I just wished the guy luck and hung up the phone. I was never one to hang out at strip clubs but the few I went to back in the day seemed laid back and friendly. I would have never guessed this type of shit really happens and as offten as it sounds like it does. As far as Nate goes, I hope he learns from this and I kind of hope that whatever law enforcement gets involved, gives him a break. I mean come on, it takes some massive cojones to pull off that stunt.

Absinthe Anyone?

Posted in Home life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 11, 2011 by HackingVegas

I get a lot of questions as a hack and some of them I just don’t have a simple answer to. The top two questions asked that have the hardest answers are:

1) Where is the best place to eat.
And
2) What is the best show in town.

I always have to give a long winded multi answer response. As far as food goes it depends on what you like. If you like Italian it’s Battista’s. Steaks? then it’s Golden Steer or THE Steak House at Circus Circus, and so on and so forth. When I respond to the question about the shows it’s a similar response. The only real difference is I have to narrow down the types of shows they like. Every once on a while I get asked what my favorite show is and my reponce has always been a list depending on the type of show. I’m happy to say this is no longer the case. While the food response will still be the same, I now have a favorite show.

The other night the wife and I went out on a much needed date. We saw the adds for a new show at Caesars Palace called Absinthe. New York Times called it “Cirque Channeled Through Rocky Horror.” Well the wife and I love both types of shows and thought it would be fun. I got the tickets and then we watched the trailer online. I don’t know who Absinthe hired to put that together but damn they should be fired. After watching the trailer we had second thoughts about the show. It looked like an amateur variety show and a waste of an evening. But despite that, we went.

The Absinthe Beer Garden opened a few hours before the first show and stayed open through the second. We went to the second show and got there about 15 minutes before it had started. A line was already formed to get in so we got in line. I noticed the bar line was short and went to grab a few drinks for us. The bartender had the heaviest pour I’ve had from a strip bartender. It was hands down the best drinks we’ve had while on the strip. We made our way into a small round tent that had wood floors and folding chair general seating that surrounded a small circular stage. After sitting we found ourselves surrounded by six freaky looking characters perched over each walkway. The lighting was dim and set the mood perfectly. A single table dressed the stage and had a few alcohol based products to put the cherry on top of it all. By the time the show started you had no choice but to be ready for anything.

The first act set the tone with an acrobat performing with chairs that were taken from right under the audiences rear ends. He transitioned us to a fairy who was lowered to the stage from the ceiling to perform a seductive song while disrobing to panties and pasties. It was done very tastefully for a show that was all in all rounchy fun.

After the opening act, “The Gazillionaire Speigeltent”, the host was introduced. Speigeltent was a character beyond words. He brought comic relief to the extreme. If you have any insecurities about yourself, I don’t recommend sitting in the first 6 rows. Otherwise, just enjoy the antics.

Without giving the whole show away, I have compiled a few pictures to give you an idea of what you’ll see.

 

By the end of Absinthe my sides and face hurt from laughing so hard for over an hour and a half. This show is only $69.00 and well worth every cent. For all you theatre buffs out there like myself, you’ll appreciate the fact they use old fashion rigging with actual flymasters for all of their ariel acts.

So next time you’re in my cab and ask “what’s your favorite show?”, expect me to highly recommend Absinthe in the Caesars Palace courtyard. (that is unless you’re up tight)

 

HELP HELP HELP

Posted in Close Calls, Driving Basics, Drunks, Law Enforcement, Robberies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2011 by HackingVegas

This job has many risks. Dealing with the public has its ups and downs and the other day was another case of the bad. It was the last fare of my shift and I picked up from the new Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino. Two Men, one in his late 20’s and the other in his 40’s, got in and were drunk as hell. I was able to smell the alcohol before they even sat down. The younger guy gives me the cross streets of Tropicana and Maryland, saying that’s where they live. I start toward that intersection the shortest way possible (which any local would know). The younger man then says,

Him: Oh wait turn there

Me: I thought you said Trop and Mary?

Him: oh yeah ok you know what you’re doing

My first alarm goes off. If he really lives there, why is he trying to make me turn away from his house ? I start really paying attention to what they are saying now and try to get more info from them. I ask for an address and get a street name that is about 3 miles from the intersection they gave. I then ask,

Me: Oh, so are we going to Trop and Mary or Russell and Sandhill?

Older Man: (with a funny look on his face) Oh.. ah …yeah that’s what we said right?

Me: (playing along) I don’t know. Probably, it’s the end of my shift and I forgot what you said.

Older Man: Ok,  just keep going and I’ll tell you where to go

At this point ALL ALARMS are sounding and I try to remember the distress code for dispatch. The men started talking in a whisper and shifting their bodies a lot. I know this is going to turn out bad if I don’t do something. I pick up the radio and give the HELP HELP HELP code to the dispatcher. This code sounds like normal talk to anyone else and because drivers are always talking to dispatch the riding public doesn’t catch on. But after I give the code, the older man starts to cry. I’m confused and realize he knows what I just did. He must have worked for this company before. We’ve had former employees hold our company up before and I figured this was just another one. I hear him say something to the younger man and then  he started giving me random directions. Knowing that the cops should be on their way I continue on the path I gave in the code to dispatch. Next thing I know the old man yells:

Older Man: STOP STOP STOP. Just let us out here. We’re good, here just stop.

Me: Ok, let me pull over.

Younger Man: Here just take this (throwing a 10 dollar bill at me)

I pull over in public view and let them out. They take off running and I give dispatch the all clear and start back to the yard. I started thinking on the way back, I never got scared and my heart didn’t even race during all that. This job has obviously taken its toll on me but caused me to be more street smart than ever before. I didn’t even call the wife or tell anyone about this until now (well I kinda told the wife later that night).

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