Las Vegas is known for a lot of things but most of all it’s known as “SIN CITY”. This is a very fitting name considering that you can do nearly anything you can dream of and then some. As a driver in Vegas we are involved in the transportation of the visitors looking for the Sin part of our city and therefore we are also used for information gathering. It’s common to get a fare who doesn’t know where they are going until they give you the third degree. This was the case the other day.
It was just after sunrise and I was sitting at one of my favorite morning hotels hoping for a fare to the Airport. Out of no where I have a man knocking on my window asking to get in. I notice he doesn’t have the luggage I was hoping for but such is luck. I unlock the doors and off we go. As I pull off I ask where he’s going and that’s where it all starts.
Him: I need a rub down. Where is the best place?
Me: Well are you looking for a good rub down or a GOOD RUB DOWN (Hinting about a parlor)
He then starts in with this long-winded story about how he has been up for about 24 hours and playing cards and just needs to relax. That he has an extra $500 and he’s just trusting me to take him somewhere that will help.
Here’s the problem with that, I’m not the type of driver who will just drive you somewhere if I’m not sure that’s where you want to go. Between the complaints I’ve got from other fares about other drivers doing that and the fact if the guy gets pissed I can get in trouble from the T.A. for not getting a proper destination.
So I pull to the side and start playing 20 questions. I start with,
This is what a "Real Spa" for massages looks like
Me: are you wanting a true Spa where they are legit and give really good message’s or are you looking for a rub and tug?
Him: Well I’m sore and need relief
Me: Ok well then I would wait for the spa to open at your hotel and go there. With the money you have they will take care of you.
Him: But I need it now. I don’t want to wait. Don’t they have those Asian places you can take me?
This is what a "Rub&Tug" place looks like
I go on to explain that those are really just there for the rub and tug. If he’s really sore they wont be able to help him. Most guys I pick up from those places say the girls hurt them and most say they stop the girl and get to the point.
By now I know that all he really wants it a rub and tug and I’m done playing games. I turn in my seat and say,
Me: OK let’s stop the shit. You are looking for a hooker and didn’t find one at the hotel you were at. So you jump in my cab and don’t have the balls to say so and spend ten minutes beating around the bush. Now it’s coming up to the time I have to go pick up a personal fare and I need you to figure out what you want or get out. If you want a true message get out and make an appointment at the hotel. If you are looking for a hooker I’ll take you to one of the brothels and you can have at. If you are just looking for someone to pay attention to you and have her tug on you then say so. I don’t have this kind of time. We are in Vegas and I’m a Cabbie. You’re a grown man and I’ve heard it all before so be a man and stop wasting my time.
Him: (in a beaten voice) well, um, just….. (I’m about to kick him out) aaahhhh take me to one of those asian places. Just go to the best one.
I tell him they are all the same but I’m taking him to the one on the way to where my next pick up is. If he needed a ride back he could call me when he’s done and I could pick him back up in about 45 mins. My phone never rang and my day went on.
So for any readers that are coming to Vegas and feel embarrassed about wanting to do something, I have this to say.
If you are afraid to ask for it than maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. If you want something ask for it and don’t waste everyone’s time. This is Vegas and you know… What Happens in Vegas Stays Dorment Until You Get Home And Need “That Cream”.
Hacking Vegas 