I Love Award Shows

I picked up a lady headed to church. She says she nearly 80 years old and this is her first time out of her home state of Iowa. I ask how she decided Las Vegas for her first trip? She says it was where her sister wanted to go for her 85th birthday. The small chat continues for a while then she asks the big question…

I asked my bellman what the AVN is I keep hearing about. He told me he didn’t know but to make sure and ask my next cabbie because you guys know everything. So what is it?

For those of you who don’t know but want to know more than I’m going to tell you, go ahead and click HERE for a safe link to Wikipedia that will fill you in.

Not knowing what to say to this 80-year-old on her way to church I simply said, it’s an award show they do in Las Vegas every year. Little did I know she LOVED award shows. She Started in on 20 questions.

What kind of award show is it?
Well, its like the Oscars but not….

Do you think I would still be able to buy tickets?
Um… I don’t know. But I don’t think you would want to go.

Why? I love award shows. I would love to see stars walking the red carpet.
Well Ma’am these are not the stars you’re thinking of. This award show is for adult entertainment not your normal movies.

She was still a little confused so I put it as blunt as possible without describing it to her.

“Ma’am this is a porn movie award show. The people there are getting awards for being in those type of movies.”

She was shocked and turned beet red, as did I. It felt like I just got done having this talk with my own grandma. The trip was almost done at this point but I was scared that she would keep asking so I simply turned the radio up as I pulled up to the church. I quickly jumped to open her door. As I helped her out she hands me the money and simply said “sorry”, as she quickly shuffles into the church.

I think this ride alone trumps all of the in cab break ups, fights and shady deals as one of the most awkward rides I’ve ever had…

11 Responses to “I Love Award Shows”

  1. ryoko861 Says:

    Another one for the book, right?

    LMAO! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for THIS one!!

  2. I would have driven her to buy tickets! Awww honey, where’s your sense of adventure? LMAO.

  3. It has been far to long since your last post. This one was worth the wait.

  4. STEVEH552 Says:

    Did she tip? I would love to have seen the actual look on her face.

  5. Not sure what just happened, but I send you an award nomination I guess.

  6. Somebody had to tell her…and honestly, I didn’t know what they were either until I clicked your “safe” link. Thanks for enlightening me.

    The burning question though, would seem to be…”How do they pick the best AVN? And what exactly is the criteria that makes it the best? Size? Best “sound” effects? Best camera angles? Or educational value of positioning?” Cynical? Maybe, but inquiring minds need to know these things.

  7. So glad I found you,,I’m going to LOVE this!!

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