Die Tranie Hookers Die

Ok that title may sound a little harsh but until you pick up two trashy transvestite hookers you have no room to judge. Being a hack in Vegas you learn that taking hookers around town is part of the job. Much like any other person getting in my cab, some are cool and others are a royal pain in the ass. Today was one of those days where they were a pain in the ass.

Let me start at the beginning of the day. The day started the night before when all three kids decide it would be fun to be sick together (I think I pissed them off somehow and they are getting back at me). So the wife and I are up and down all night tending to them. I finally get up for the day and do my last rounds of temps and head to work. I get my paperwork and go to get my cab which is sitting at the gas pumps still. It’s having issues and can’t be fueled. It takes about an hour to get another cab. I score a credit card cab and jump on the first call that came over the radio. Dispatch tells me they need a credit card so I’m thinking this is going to be a good day.

I pull up to the house and call the number. A guy answers and says he’ll send the girls right out. I know right then I’m getting working girls. Next thing I know, the guy is coming out with three suitcases and throws them at the cab before turning back around and going in. I start to wonder what I’m in store for. I look up at the house to see two heavy-set girls walk out wearing skin-tight rags and heals as high as the empire state building. I had a flashback to a high school football linemen who was nick named “the brick house”. Now I know this is going to be a shit ride. I get out and load the bags in the cab. The girls wedge themselves into the back seat and off we go.

Before I get off the street I ask where they are headed. They ask me to call a few hotels and get rates and then they’ll let me know. I get them the best rate and start toward the Rio. On the way there I hear Blondie talking crap about the guy they just left. She was mad because he didn’t like what they had to offer and didn’t understand what he expected. She made a phone call to someone and started yelling even more. The way she was talking I was sure they were transvestites. Then it came out, her real voice, her deep male voice. I started to laugh out loud and had to turn up the music to cover it.

I pull up to the Rio and got out to open the door and unload the bags. I see Blondie digging in her purse and starting to cry. This is never a good sign. I go back around and sit while she digs. The brunette starts going over the events from the night and says the key words. “it’s ok, we’ll just go back and find it”. I hear this all the time and it’s just a way for hookers to get you to drive them around looking for a John to pay for them. The bad thing is, drivers who are dumb enough to fall for this most of the time end up having the girl run out on them without paying.

I turn to them and let them know I’m not going anywhere and I have to call the Taxi Authority if they can’t find some form of money. Once again, Blondie starts crying and tries to tell me she’s not ripping me off but “she” just needs to go to the Cosmopolitan to get her card. I tell her that my supervisor has been notified and that I can’t leave till they show up. So about 40 minutes go by and they are still digging and crying. Meanwhile, I’m out of the cab trying to get away from the god awful noise this dumb ass is making. The Taxi Authority shows up and I go over what’s happened. It’s amazing after all that time of not having money they see a badge and boom, money comes out and the fare is paid

So I ask you….. if this was the start of you work week would you be happy with the next Tranie hooker you pick up? Oh wait, raise of hands – how many transvestite hookers do you come across when you’re at work?

I would love to hear your stories.






10 Responses to “Die Tranie Hookers Die”

  1. Yes….they truly are a pain in the ass! LOL. You know that I love you, right?

  2. ryoko861 Says:

    My son and I read this and laughed!! I thought this: It’s bad enough to hear a guy cry, but a guy who’s trying to be a girl cry? OMG!

    Never a dull moment!

    • If I had a way to post the audio I would’ve hit record on my phone. It was a sound that no words can ever describe. Glad you guys enjoyed it luckily my day did turn out nice after the rough start.

  3. TheIdiotSpeaketh Says:

    Tranie Hookers? In rural Texas? We got em comin out of the woodwork! I can’t step out of my front door without running into a few circling around my yard like dogs in heat….. I thought everybody had these problems. It is great to see that others of you are also enjoying in living in Tranie Hooker infested areas of the country…. 🙂

    • Lmao. This may be tmi but I had images of fat men wearing cowboy cheerleader uniforms running around your yard. Oh my you need to be careful when you take your winter plunges into the lake. 8)

  4. Are you kidding me?!?! That is my dream! Well Dream #147 Encounter a Transvestite.
    I wanna know everything about them.
    How they hide their junk? Do they shave every tem minutes? How do they “work it?”

    • Well you’re in luck my dear. When you come out to Las Vegas I’ll take you to what I like to call “Tarnieville”. It’s a who stripmall where they hang out. I’m sure you’ll find at least one that will let you pick their brain, I mean as long as you bring the duct tape that is.

  5. LMAO! Well, I think this is another instance where the call of the Bedouin would’ve solved your problem. And I do have a story but I’ll need to share it privately – so I’ll FB you!

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